I Wish He Only Knew
by HotTimali
Summary: Felix Sylvian: 16, Good looking, blonde, blue eyed, a 'walking cliche' has arrived at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizadry. His impressions made to others are extremely varied, but there's only one person who he is keen to win over Potter! MM
1. Chapter 1

A/N & Disclaimer: Okay, this is my first ever songfic so sorry if you think it sucks. The song will be a selection of Mariah Carey songs. This story contains slashes and also opposite sex pairings so it's a bit of a mix! Some of the characters are fictional and entirely made up by me, others already existing. Hope you like it!

WARNING: Graphic sexual scenes in later chapters, no like, no read thank u!

Chapter 1

_Never imagined I'd be sitting _

_Here beside myself._

_Guess I didn't know you,_

_Guess I didn't know me_

_But I thought I knew everything_

_I never felt…_

_- "We belong Together," Mariah Carey._

"Get the fuck out of my way, Sylvian!" Harry hissed as Felix accidentally hit his shoulder in passing. Felix uncertainly glanced at him, stung by Harry's lashing.

Harry, still pissed off with his encounter with Draco earlier that day, at that moment couldn't care less if he was rude to professor Dumbledore if it was he who passed. After getting out of earshot from Felix or to them, the new kid, Hermione started, "Why the hell did you have to do that Harry?"

Harry rounded on her, "Who's fucking side are you on?"

Hermione scowled. "There was no reason for you to be horrible to anyone who you pass just because of Malfoy! Did you even know that guy back there?" Harry ignored her and beckoned Ron to follow him.

Back in Divination, Felix was unhappily gazing into a crystal ball. Professor Trelawney pounced on him and Billy Lloyd – Foxe.

"My dears…let me see what the inner eye has to say…" She snatched the ball off of Felix's table. After considering for a couple of seconds, she let out a little laugh. "Well m'boy! You are certainly on the trail for someone, hmmm?" Felix wearily sighed.

"I don't understand you professor?"

Professor Trelawney smiled before shooting him a wink. "You shall have a hectic month for the ones you are…very fond of let's say." Beads shaking with mirth, she descended behind the purple veil.

"What the fuck was all that about?" Felix muttered to Billy after the lesson.

"Beats me dude. Hey, you'll never guess who I saw this mornin'." Billy said, excited. Felix ran a hand through his blonde hair.

"No idea mate, who?"

"None other than fucking Harry Potter!" Billy was practically jumping up and down.

"Jesus Foxe, don't piss your pants, calm down for Christ's sake!" Felix said, irritated.

"What's the big deal anyways? You saw Potter, whoopedo!" He went on. Billy stood agape at what his friend had said.

"Bloody hell! Are we talking about the same person here? You know, Potter! He's really amazing at the dark arts, man. Done shit with his wand that Dumbledore would be proud of. But he's cool, ya know? We got talking…"

Felix snorted, "He ain't that great! Stupid snob to tell the truth."

"Huh? You seen him?"

"Course I fucking have! I don't think anybody misses that ridiculously over – bloated head of his." Felix snapped. Billy shook his head and started walking again.

"What did he do that pissed you off?"

"Passed the dude in the corridor, brushed passed him ever so slightly yeah? And he just about bites my head off. 'Get the fuck outta my way, Sylvian!'" He mimicked. Billy shrugged off handily.

"Maybe he's got something against ALL Slytherine's?" He suggested. Felix nodded.

"He obviously holds a grudge against Malfoy anyhow." Billy was in Ravenclaw, Felix in Slytherine. Although, despite the house differences, they remained close friends.

Billy and Felix had both moved from America to the UK. A week after moving to Islington, they had both received letters to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As both of them were 16 they were placed in 6th year.

Yes, it was true; Felix had not thought Harry very nice the first time they met. However, as the days wore on, slight things gradually made Felix change his mind.

(A week later)

"And that's for existing, Sylvian." Draco's fist connected with Felix's jaw again. Felix staggered back, shocked at what had happened in a space of only a few minutes. Malfoy stood back proudly, a sneer on his handsome face. "Well Sylvian, you are weaker than I thought was possible." Agitated beyond belief, Felix charged at Draco, blood coming out from his split lip. With a crash, they were upon each other, punching and kicking, snarling and yelling, swearing and hissing. Pulling, ripping, hitting anything that they touched within each other. A crowd had gathered and they started to chant.

"_Flipendo!_" A voice shouted amidst the crowd. Felix, who had been pinning Malfoy down and throwing punch after punch on his face, was knocked flying backwards and into the corridor's gargoyle statue. He landed with a thud. Malfoy sat cowering in a curled up ball, hands trying to protect his face. There was a lot of pushing in the crowd as a figure stepped forward. It had been Harry who had used the spell. Harry moved toward Felix and yanked back his hair. "You're coming with me!" He growled menacingly.

He dragged Felix along the corridor. When he got to the courtyard he stopped abruptly.

"Okay Sylvian, tell me what the hell happened back there." Harry sighed warily. Felix shifted uncomfortably.

"Er…Malfoy was acting a shit."

"Oh yes?" Harry raised one eyebrow. Felix swallowed and licked his lips. _Since when the hell did Potter smell so good? _Felix was horrified to find himself thinking.

"Yeah, he uh, said some fucked up shit to his friends and then jumped me in the hall."

"Fucked up shit to his 'freends' huh?" Harry stretched out the word friends like Felix had.

"Well that's Malfoy for you. What surprised me is him attacking a Slytherine." He went on. Felix studied Harry out of the corner of his eye. He was taller than he thought; years of Quidditch had given him a toned, athletic body. His features were no longer boyish like how Felix had seen in the daily prophet over the summer, but had matured and showed off the good bone structure and piercing, green eyes. His hair that had once been a messy disaster had been cut. It was short at the back and sides and longer and floppy at the fringe. _Simple, yet stylish, and sexy as hell_ Felix thought.

"What did you do to make him attack you like that?" Harry asked. Felix snapped his eyes up to Harry's, he shuddered in sudden arousal. The green orbs were looking intently into Felix's sparkly blues.

"Uh…I don't…know." Harry sighed and addressed Felix as though he were two.

"Well, you must of pissed him off pretty bad, don't you think?"

Felix narrowed his eyes sourly. "I did nothing okay? I didn't do anything to give him the hump, so quit getting on my case."

Harry placed his hands on Felix's shoulders. Felix tensed. His expression was of icy cool, his blue eyes were the only things that gave him away, and they had a look of lust in them. Harry blinked in surprise. _Why was Sylvian lusting? Was he gay?_

"Look, it's Felix right? I'm just trying to help."

Felix pulled away from Harry, "Well I don't need your help, I can fight my own battles." Harry sighed in frustration.

"Why the hell are all you Slytherine's so difficult? To be honest I don't give a fuck if Malfoy half beat you to death. I'm just trying to find out some shit that I think he may be part of."

"So why the hell did you send him flying backwards?" Felix asked angrily. Harry just shook his head. He reached his hand up to Felix's face. Felix's eyes widened in shock. Harry gently brushed a lock of blonde hair out of his eyes. He let his hand drop to his side.

"You need to get a hair cut." Was all he said before he walked back into the castle.

"Harry, you can't be serious? I mean, you barely know this Sylvian kid, lets be realistic here, you expect him to be all friendly towards you, so suddenly?" Hermione shook her head and continued to fork shepherds pie into her mouth. Harry, who was sitting opposite her, just smiled.

"Look, Herm, I know that what you say is pretty true, but. I need to get on good terms with this guy; he could know some stuff about Malfoy that would be important. Please don't snitch."

Hermione chewed thoughtfully. "Huh? What makes you think I would tell him? He is a Slytherine after all."

Harry leaned forwards, pushing his apple crumble away. "Because you're in his arithmetic's class aren't you?"

"Well, yeah."

"So, you could easily tell if you don't approve of what I do, right?"

"I guess…Harry, what exactly ARE you planning on doing?"

Harry tapped the side of his nose secretly. "Now that WOULD be telling. Don't worry, nothing rash." He added hastily when Hermione's eyes narrowed.

"Humph. Well, I hope not!" She got up and made to walk out of the great hall, when she saw her latest crush coming in her direction.

"Shit!" She hissed and plopped back down onto the Gryffindor bench. Harry laughed at her expense, then quickly stopped when he saw Felix going out of the hall. Almost leaping off the bench, he walked out of the hall swiftly to catch up with him.

"Hey! Felix!" He called out. Felix tensed for a second before walking slightly faster away.

"HEY!" Harry jogged over to him and grabbed the sleeve of his robe. Felix spun round, eyes wide and frightened.

"I called you. Why did you keep walking?" Harry asked pointedly. Felix shrugged and broke eye contact.

"Didn't hear." He said lamely.

"Huh. Well, I just wanted to say good luck for the match." Felix was on the Slytherine Quidditch team. He played beater with Daniel Garcy. Tomorrow was to be his first time playing for the team in a proper match. It just happened to be Slytherine Vs Gryffindor.

"Uh…thanks, I guess." He mumbled, blushing slightly. He tried hard not to stare at Harry's thighs. They were perfectly sculpted beneath the faded jeans he had on. Harry bit his lip nervously. _Right, now how the fuck can you get him to like you, if he won't even look at you? _Harry said ultra casually. "You got a girlfriend? I hear you're going out with Lavinia Greensleeve."

Felix shifted his feet uncomfortably. "Uh…actually we split."

"Oh? How come?"

"She was cheating on me." Felix sighed.

"Lavinia? She wouldn't do that! She said she dislikes boys, with the exception of you, of course." Harry rushed to reassure him.

Felix appeared to be thinking hard.

"Well that certainly explains it then." And when Harry looked blank, he said, "I caught her you know, cheating on me. It was with a girl." Felix said bluntly.

_Jesus Harry! Now you've really put your foot in it!_

Harry looked dumfounded. Felix cracked a wry grin.

"It's cool. I'm completely over her." _And falling for someone new way to quickly,_ Felix thought truthfully.

"Well, I guess that's good. Ya know if you want to get hooked up with someone, you only have to ask. I know some fit girls." Harry winked knowingly. Felix smiled outwardly and thanked him.

It was only when Harry was walking back towards the Great hall that he let his thoughts speak despairingly. _What's the point? The only person I want to hook up with is the one guy I can't!_

A/N Hey hey, wat u all think??? Review please! I promise in my next chapter things get more...exciting LOL x x x


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Everything is you,_

_My heart is consumed,_

_I'm so confused…_

_- "Circles," Mariah Carey._

Felix thumped his pillow viscously. He was lying in his bed, in his dorm and thinking wretchedly. Harry was becoming an obsession to him. What had started off as resentment and mild interest, had now spun totally out of control. He was falling helplessly for him, and he loathed it.

Firstly because Harry was a guy and Felix felt nothing for most guys apart from friendship. He couldn't understand why he liked Harry, when he was straight, or was he? He was beginning to doubt his own sexuality.

Secondly, he hated the fact that most wizards in the world adored Harry and it angered him when he saw girls salivating at him when they walked pass in corridors. He felt protective when his fellow Slytherine's in the common room mentioned Harry. Harry was their main topic to talk about when they were all feeling pissed off. Felix always left the room soon once they got started.

Draco was a problem to him too. Although he would have liked to be in Draco's good books, Felix's charm, obvious wealth, and popularity got on Draco's nerves and he constantly bitched him about as well. There had been more than one occasion where Felix had got himself into trouble with a posse of Draco's friends.

Although Felix was a generally polite boy, he couldn't stand most of his teachers, often making snide remarks about the lesson or their teaching skills. He always ended up in detentions and getting house points deducted from Slytherine.

Despite all of the hate Draco showed him, and constantly getting Slytherine in trouble by the teachers, all the girls loved him.

This irritated Draco further. HE was supposed to be the one they all wanted to bed. Pansy Parkinson had been heard by Draco talking to her girl friends about Felix. "I saw him practising Quidditch today. God that body of his is something. And when he swung the beater, you could see all the arm muscles rippling underneath his shirt. Oh how I long for those tender hands to run through my hair!" She had said before laughing with them. The result of this was that the next time there was a Slytherine Quidditch practice, Draco had picked up Daniel's beater and pretended to swing a few shots, making sure he hit Felix full in the face. Felix had to go to the hospital wing because of the extensive bleeding issuing from his bust nose. Thankfully, it hadn't broken.

Felix closed his tired eyes that were spilling over with tears. Visions of Harry kept enveloping his mind until sleep eventually consumed him.

The next day started as any other. Felix went into the bathroom to have a shower before dressing into his robes. He was jittery with nerves for the match and when he tried to eat some toast, he had to rush to the loo to throw up. When his stomach had nothing left to chuck except bile, a very pale Felix emerged from the bathroom to make his way down with the rest of the team to the Quidditch pitch.

Billy caught up with him just before he went into the changing room. He had Felix's broom, a firebolt, thrown over his shoulder.

"And how exactly did you plan on playing Quidditch today with no broomstick?" He handed a grateful Felix his broom.

"Jesus, you look like shit." He looked intently at Felix's face. Felix let out a hollow laugh.

"Gee, thanks for the fucking honesty."

"Man, you alright? I mean, I know you must be nervous and shit, but I figured you could be psyched as well?" Billy frowned anxiously at his friend.

Felix sighed tiredly, he had dark shadows beneath his eyes, but he was still as beautiful as ever. "Malfoy's out to bury me." He admitted solemnly.

Billy snorted. "Malfoy? Dude, did you throw up your brains also? Malfoy's on your team, dickhead!"

Felix gave a twisted smile. "Like that's gunna stop him! Just you see, by the time this match is over, you're gunna be scraping the remains of my body off of the pitch floor."

Billy shuddered and made a face. "Eew! I don't wanna hurl up MY breakfast too, thank you very much!"

Felix laughed; Billy always managed to cheer him up.

"Hey faggot! You gunna just stand there chatting up Foxe, or are you actually going to play?" Malfoy drawled from the changing room. A second later, he poked his blonde head round the door and scowled at Felix.

Felix gave a glare of his own before flipping him off. Billy laughed, wished him luck, and left to find a seat in the pitch stands.

"Nervous?" Daniel whispered to Felix. They were waiting to get introduced on the pitch.

"A little." Felix admitted, shaking like a leaf. His stomach had stopped fluttering around like butterflies and was replaced with great, lurching, nervous flips.

"You'll do fine, mate. Trust me, you're real good at swingin' the bat. How come anyway? You were like, a natural and it had been the first time you'd ever picked up a beater. Remember that?" Daniel said softly, smiling in genuine honesty. Felix cracked a grin of his own, and out of nerves, started to babble.

"I guess its because when I lived in America, I used to play alota baseball. Know what that is?"

He didn't wait for him to respond and continued; "So it just felt normal using a beater. Of course, the weights different and all but it's the same concept. Apart from the fact that in baseball, you just hit the ball and not try to get someone con cussed like in Quidditch, know what I'm sayin'? But in America – " He broke off when he saw the alarmed expression Daniel was giving him.

"Would you shut the fuck up before you give your whole life story of 'America'." Draco drawled, rolling his eyes. Felix obliged and instead, chewed his bottom lip anxiously.

In less than five seconds, the banner in front of the team rose, and all the Slytherine's kicked off from the ground, soaring into their positions on the pitch. Felix flew next to Daniel, his beater gripped firmly in his right hand. Madame Hooch flew onto the pitch as well. "Captains, shake hands."

Urquhart, the Slytherine captain shook hands with Potter. Felix felt his knees weaken when he looked at Potter directly for a few seconds. Harry's hair was blowing in the wind. Felix wanted to run his hands through it. He spotted Felix gazing at him and shot him a small smile. Madame Hooch released the balls and threw the quaffle into the air. The game had begun.

Zacharias Smith was commentating. "And Weasley gets the quaffle, who passes it onto Bell, who…Ooo misses!" He said with glee. "Good save by Slytherine keeper!"

The game raged on, ten minutes had passed when the sky suddenly turned a cloudy grey. The next minute, rain started to drop down from the heavens faster than lightning. Felix cursed when he saw a Gryffindor seeker streaking towards him. He couldn't make out who it was though; his hair had flopped into his eyes, wet and limp.

"Move out the way Sylvian!" He heard Ginny scream as she flew passed. He cursed as the weather got worse and worse. Whacking a bludger at Demelza Robins, a Gryffindor chaser, he missed and almost hit Malfoy instead.

"Oi! Watch who you aim at, you stupid oaf!" Malfoy hollered at him before speeding off. Felix felt crushed. He was playing appallingly. Slytherine were losing to Gryffindor. It had been twenty minutes into the game and the score was already 60 – 10 to Gryffindor. The really bad accident that happened however, was when Felix was about a meter away from Harry, who was searching for the snitch. Malfoy had yelled at him to beat a bludger to Harry.

Just at that moment, Harry had looked up, and a bludger came hurtling passed. Harry did not dodge out of the way. He just hovered for several seconds, eyes locked onto Felix's, and watching what he would do. It seemed like an eternity before Felix wrenched his eyes away, when in reality it had only been a few seconds. Instead of hitting a bludger at Harry, Felix had flown a loop to dodge it. It went raging pass, missing Harry by inches; he had flown out of the way in the nick of time.

Felix was shivering. And it wasn't just because of the cold wind. He couldn't have done it. How could he of hit Harry? It was suicide, and yet he didn't do it. He had chosen not to, and in front of his whole Slytherine team. What happened next, he still couldn't quite remember. Out of nowhere, a bludger was smashed in his direction. Not having time to think, his instincts frozen, Felix did nothing. CRASH!

The bludger crushed into his stomach, sending him flying, the force was so hard! Desperately trying to grasp his broom whilst falling, he missed and continued to drop 60ft in the air. Even worse luck issued. A Slytherine chaser collided into him, sending him spinning even faster towards the ground. A moan of horror went up from the stands. Even the Gryffindor supporters looked on with concern. Felix landed on the ground with a sickening crunch. The next minute, Harry had caught the snitch and landed. He jumped off his broomstick to where Felix was lying motionless on the floor, covered in wet mud.

All the players had stopped, not even noticing the snitch fluttering in Harry's fist.

Harry bent over Felix gingerly. "Felix? Can you get up?" He asked him gently. Felix heard Harry's voice and opened a dazed eye. "H – Harry?" He croaked.

"Uh huh, I'm right here." Felix tried to move his arms and legs and whimpered. "I – I think I've broken something." Madame Hooch burst into action, pushing Harry aside.

"Sylvian. We need to get you to the hospital wing." Gradually, her voice to Felix started to fade away. Felix's eyelids were fluttering. He faintly saw players from the Slytherine team crowd over him anxiously. And then finally, Dumbledore came into view. With a lot of effort, Felix managed to softly whisper one name to them all. One name that they all managed to hear despite it being said so quietly, "Harry."

And then his mind went blank, as he fainted.

Felix struggled to get his eyes open. When he eventually did, he found that he couldn't move his legs. As panic set in, Felix frantically tried to sit up. After several unsuccessful attempts, he managed to. He was in the hospital wing. Harry was sitting on his bed. He couldn't believe it. Harry was sitting just a few inches away from him. If he stretched out, his hand would brush against his thigh and…

"Glad you can join the world again?" Harry's voice broke into his thoughts. Felix looked into the glittering green eyes and noticed that they were laced with concern.

"Uh, yeah. I guess…how long have I been out?" His voice sounded husky and lower than usual. Harry smiled and handed him a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"A couple of hours. That was a nasty fall you had on the Quidditch pitch. Madame Pomfrey says she fixed the broken arm, leg, sprained wrist and twisted vertebra. It seems that your only war scars are the few cuts and bruises on your face. Don't worry, you still look beautiful."

Felix, who had taken a sip of the offered pumpkin juice, almost spat it all out. "What?" His pretty, blue, impish eyes widened in shock. Harry coughed uncomfortably before saying gruffly, "You heard."

Felix swallowed. His throat had gone dry. "Uh…who won the match?" Harry grinned broadly, showing Felix his even, white teeth. "Gryffindor."

Felix rolled his eyes. "Yeah well, you're the best seeker in the school so you were bound to win, huh?" Harry raised his eyebrows and smirked. "You think so? Well that is something coming from a Slytherine." Felix's own smile vanished slowly as reality sunk in.

He looked away sadly. Harry bit his lip.

"Felix? Did I…say something wrong?" He asked gently. Felix felt like a still living fish that had been cruelly gutted. He clenched his teeth in sudden fury. "Harry. Do you…what are your true…feelings?" For the first time, Felix looked into Harry's vibrant green eyes, and saw fear.

"Feelings?" Harry repeated.

"What you feel. Happiness? Sadness? Jealousy? –"

"Jealousy…Ron."

"Anger?" Felix blinked his blue eyes, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay as he spoke to him.

"Anger…" For minute Harry's eyes soured. "Malfoy."

"Love?" Felix spoke so quietly; it sounded as though it was his last breath.

"Love?"

"Love."

Harry swallowed uncomfortably; a stubborn look crossed his face as he spoke hollowly. "I have never heard of it."

Felix's brow furrowed in unhappiness. "I think you have, Harry. I dare say you've felt it yourself. For something or…someone."

Harry leaned in close to Felix's ear.

"Never."

He pulled away again and said with a clipped voice. "Even the sound of it offends me."

Felix bit his lips and turned away. _How could Harry speak so immaturly of love? It can be such a beautiful thing, for those who are lucky enough to find it... _

Harry abruptly got up off the bed.

"I should go." He said quickly. "Ron and Hermione will be worried, ya know?"

Felix nodded and blinked back the brimming tears.

"I'll probably see you soon…don't want Malfoy to see I was talking to a Slytherine." Irrationally, that statement annoyed Felix.

He snapped his head to glare at Harry; any trace of tears earlier had vanished. "What's so wrong with me being a Slytherine? Just because Malfoy's one, doesn't mean I'm going to be like him."

Harry just shrugged off handily. "Get well soon, Sylvian." He said and walked away.

Felix rested his head back against the pillow and fought breaking down into sobs. It hurt when Harry called him by his second name. He only did that when he talked to Malfoy. The realisation upset him even more; he would never be seen as anything more than a friend, because of what house he was in.

A/N Promise, promise the next chapter is slashy! Not 1 review sobs on floor dejectedly but i'm going to keep on writing!!! luv yew all! x x x


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Every moment we're together its just breaking me down. _

_I know these void lasts forever but it hurts too much to stay around._

_I don't wanna cry…_

_- "I Don't Wanna Cry," Mariah Carey._

A couple of days later and Felix was finally allowed to leave the hospital wing. Harry hadn't visited Felix since he had woken up there. Madame Pomfrey had insisted that Felix should begin to attend class again. Felix wasn't so sure. It wasn't the fact that he didn't LIKE class. It was more the reason that Harry was in them, and Felix just wasn't ready to face reality. At least not just yet.

Walking down the steps and along the corridor to the Great Hall Felix was stopped by someone calling him. He paused and cocked his head ever so slightly. "FELIX!"

He turned round to look over his shoulder. Phew, it wasn't Harry. _Aaaw Fuck, bloody MALFOY!_ Felix cursed. _Now what the hell would he want? _

Felix turned himself fully round to face him. He didn't move an inch.

"What is it Malfoy?" He asked tiredly. He really couldn't be assed to get into a petty fight with the former Slytherine now.

_Jesus, I need to eat,_ he thought to himself as his stomach gave an impatient grumble of frustration and longing. He just hoped that Draco wouldn't be long.

Without thinking, he raised a hand to rub his eyes dejectedly. When he opened them again he found that Draco had moved and was standing rather closely to him. Felix gave a little step back in surprise. His whole body began to tense in defence, ready for any trap that Draco might have had up his sleeve.

But Draco was alone. A great shock to Felix who was used to seeing him sauntering around with his ''superior'' posse. Of course with the additional Malfoy sneer and ego. Why he was walking around the castle without the usual cronies was a mystery to Felix.

_Maybe he wants to seem less aggressive?_ Felix mused, still alert and tense, if a little wary.

Draco looked like a lost little boy, and as he approached Felix closer still, a flicker of apprehension crossed his face before his expression was back to normal, emotionless and blank.

His blue eyes, practically grey, were as piercing as cold marbles.

_He really is good-looking,_ Felix thought as he studied Malfoy's flawless, even features. The straight nose, slightly pointy. Draco's intense gaze, full, bottom lip, handsome chin, and high cheekbones.

His face was an attractive painting that cried out to be absorbed by another. And Felix was doing just that. Absorbing. Drinking in, studying thoroughly.

He barely noticed Malfoy stepping steadily closer to him, his own breath hitching as they became so near that he was struggling to breath. Draco leisurely licked his plump bottom lip and gave a hint of a smirk. Their faces were inches away from each other.

The corridor was empty. Just the two of them stood there, alone.

Draco was unaware of what he was doing to Felix. All that he registered was how handsome Felix looked in front of him, inches away, if slightly unsure and confused.

He was getting turned on just looking at Felix. Christ, how he was worried when he spent all those days in the hospital. Once or twice he had visited him, but not for very long on both occasions. He always made sure that Felix was asleep when he did and left the second he thought he might wake.

But right now the possibility of a student to come walking round the corner at any moment…or a teacher? It just made it that bit more exciting. Naturally Felix closed his eyes when their lips eventually met. And God, was it heaven.

Malfoy's warm tongue coaxed Felix's mouth to open into the kiss. Felix's own tongue started to probe and explore excitedly in Draco's mouth as Draco pulled him closer by the waist. They were kissing each other passionately; there was no rush.

Felix started to forget his surroundings. He imagined that it was Harry tracing the fronts of his teeth, Harry who was deepening the kiss by placing cool, delicate, almost girlish hands behind his neck. Harry letting out little moans of pleasure, Harry who was running his fingers through his hair. Harry getting more frantic and slithering his hands inside the front of his robe, gasping when he encountered soft, warm flesh and muscle on Felix's stomach: All Harry, Harry, Harry.

So much so, that when Draco spoke his name in a shaky breath, he thought it was Harry, and grinned back into their kiss, eyes still closed. Felix breathed in the smell of Harry. He smelt of vanilla musk, so sexy!

Draco was aroused, he pressed his body as close as he could get to Felix. Chest on chest, stomach on stomach, groin on groin. His lust started to turn into fire, little butterfly's of excitement and bliss fluttered in his stomach, gradually reaching lower more sensitive areas, urging his mind on. His kisses started to become more fierce and violent; mouth kissing Felix with bruising force that turned them both on even more. _Sadistic git,_ Draco thought with a grin.

Felix could feel Harry's arousal against his own hard – on. He loved the crushing kisses that Harry gave. Whenever Felix dreamed of Harry, his kisses were always rough. Harry's hand started to slip down to Felix's erection. It was fingered briefly by him before Felix felt himself being knocked backwards against the corridor wall.

Felix's head hit it with a thud and he grinned at the pain, eyes still shut. Then he felt the most intense pleasure as Harry started to press his body back against Felix, before grinding his hard bulge into Felix. Harry's hands were everywhere. On his bum, his hips, his dick…

Felix couldn't control his hunger any more. Whimpering with the need to be touched 'there', he broke down. "Harry, oh God please…I need you to touch me…please Harry, Please!" He gasped and moaned as Harry's hands unbuttoned his jeans, unzipped his fly and pumped his dick.

Draco was completely lost in his own world of need. Then reality began to sink in as Felix started to cry out a name that was not his own…but Potter's.

Wavering on the edge of orgasm, Felix's registered surprise when he felt the hand withdraw from jerking his penis. He stood still for several seconds, trying to regain his breath and wait for the stinging to die down. Hot and flustered, he opened his eyes very slowly and saw not Harry, but Draco standing in front of him.

Draco whose lips looked plump and well kissed, the moisture still on them. Draco who's body smelt of expensive cologne. Draco whose usually neat hair fell forwards, tousled and messy. All Draco, Draco, Draco. Not Harry at all.

Slowly, Felix reached down and zipped up his fly again; his dick limp. Draco found it hard to breathe. He swallowed painfully, aware of the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

Neither of them spoke for a while until Draco finally plucked up the courage to. "Felix, I – " he began tentatively. He faltered and tried to start again.

"Look…I didn't um…well I…" He trailed off pathetically, eyes looking anywhere except at Felix. Nervously, he ran a hand through his squeaky clean hair and brushed it off his forehead.

Felix started talk quietly. "You will not tell anyone what just happened. You will not speak to me again in the near future. You stay away from me; I don't want anything to do with you. You disgust me. I don't know why I let you kiss me in the first place. I wasn't myself. Of course, if it were under normal circumstances, I would have never let you approach me at all. Do you understand, Malfoy?" He spoke calmly and gave away no expression.

Draco however, let all his feelings show in a rare moment of dropping the Malfoy expectations. He looked hurt, defeated, sorrowful and extremely upset. Finally, he opened his mouth to say something. Felix waited a beat…two beats.

"Draco. My name is Draco."

Felix turned and started walk down the corridor. He felt remorseful on how he'd treated Draco, guilty for enjoying what they shared, and angry with Harry for slipping into his thoughts.

Draco was left alone with his head bowed low and filled with confusing thoughts.

A/N ha ha!!! See? I can do sexual scenes applaudes to self enthusiastically thank u, thank u! still no reviews...will update soon, u like it? x x x

P.S. In second chapter there is a part in it where Harry and Felix talk in the hospital wing. I have used an extract from the 2003 Peter Pan movie when Peter is talking to Wendy and is very confused indeed! LOL, just wanted to make that clear to ya'll if any of u readin thought i was trying to claim the peice as my own...it's not. thanks! x x x


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_So difficult to keep pretending_

_It's getting harder every day_

_It's plain to see I'm cold and heartsick_

_Since you turned and walked away._

- "_Circles," Mariah Carey._

He couldn't run away forever. He knew that. But he just wasn't ready.

That was one of Felix's bad habits, running away from his issues. Sooner or later, they all caught up with him though.

He hadn't stepped foot in the great hall, for fear of getting seen by Harry. Draco would be just as bad at this point. He didn't fancy bumping into him any time soon either! At least, not after all that had happened. The kiss. God, that kiss!

Felix felt feverish thinking about it. He had to admit, Draco was a fantastic snog. So delicate and careful, yet passionate and fiery too. Heaven. Bliss. _Urgh! Draco?!_ His mind screamed, mid way. _I mean seriously Felix mate; you're getting a bit feLINE, hmm? Geez, this is worrying…_

Not looking where he was walking, Felix ploughed straight into a girl carrying a whole load of books, it looked like she was about to topple over anyway, Felix just speeded up the motion.

"Shit! Sorry," he jumped down to help her gather them back up. As he did so, he recognised her face.

"Hermione?" he asked softly. Hermione's brown head of hair whipped up.

"I'm sorry? It's uh…Felix right?"

He nodded slightly and handed her a heavy spell book entitled: _Curses and hexes for the unworthy. _Glancing at the cover he said, "Hope you weren't planning on using it on me any time soon." Hermione just squinted at him in confusion.

"What?" Felix gathered a few more books from the floor and muttered "nothing" under his breath. Standing back up, he watched her brush away dust from her robes.

"Well! I'll er…see you soon, Fergus." She said brightly, extending her hand gingerly as all her books toppled dangerously to the left.

Smiling awkwardly he shook it, "It's Felix."

"Felix?" Hermione nodded matter – of – factly "Yes. Right. Well, bye then!" And balancing her books carefully between her arms, she scuttled off, head bent down in embarrassment.

Sighing heavily, Felix turned back around and continued to plod the empty corridor halls. A loud rumbling in his belly signalled his hunger, Felix ignored the hunger pangs and continued to venture mindlessly. Again his mind started to drift...

"Excuse me, good sir!" Felix had just plummeted head first through the ghost, nearly - headless - Nick. The horribly ice - cold feeling crawled through Felix's flesh, making him shudder outwardly.

"S - sorry! Wasn't looking where I was going..." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and chewed his lip, nervously waiting for the bell to ring, and his escape cue from students. Nick tutted slightly and drifted off and up, through the ceiling.

Tugging at his robes, a nervous habit, Felix pondered whether he should go to the library or stay put. The bell rang, at the same time, pupils flooded out of classrooms. Too late, his decision was decided for him. Leaning against the solid corridor wall, next to a stone archway, Felix focused on looking intently at the dusty floor, refusing to make eye contact with anyone that passed.

However, out of the corner of his eye he witnessed Harry coming towards him, Ron by his side laughing heartily._ SHIT! Okay, everything's fine. Don't look up, don't look up, don't look up..._

As Harry came nearer his emerald eyes flickered over Felix languid body leaning against the wall. Like a magnetic attraction, Felix's eyes were pulled towards Harry's lingering gaze.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Harry's curvy, almost feminine pink lips. Felix smiled back, a sad look on his face.

Ron noticed the communication and gave Felix a narrowed look of suspicion. Felix's heart bagan to thud as Harry started to walk towards him. Turning to Ron, Harry whispered something in his ear. Ron looked - angry and confused but did not object to whatever Harry had said and walked on without him. Abruptly shifting his eyes away from staring at Harry, Felix cleared his throat and bit down on his bottom lip. His hands began to sweat as he felt rather than saw Harry coming steadily closer.

_Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck..._

He was trapped. Not that he really wanted to escape. In fact, thinking about Harry slamming him roughly against the wall, ravaging his soft, beautiful lips upon Felix's, kinda appealed to him.

Felix's eyes closed briefly as he imagined Harry dragging his mouth along his coller bone, sliding his tongue on his stomach muscles, steadily kissing him lower down...

"Felix?"

Felix jumped and snapped his eyes open. _OH MY GOD! He's Right in front of me! HELP..._ His brain seemed to chug slowly into gear.

"Hi, Harry." His voice sounded horribly high - pitched. Harry peered at him curiously.

"You, okay? You look kind of...startled?"

Felix nodded quickly. "Fine. You just caught me off - guard." Harry smiled and raised his eyebrows in apology.

"Sorry. You did look deep in thought. What were you thinking of?" Felix felt himself blushing and gave an awkward cough.

"Er..." Felix tried to subtly search around the dingy corridor walls for inspiration. "Just...important stuff." Harry pulled one eyebrow up and pursed his lips slightly. _God, he looks so cute!_ For a moment Felix was temporarily distracted. Harry rolled his eyes and placed his hands on his hips.

"Like?" He asked with a tinge of annoyance.

"Um...my, my...i forgot my coat." Relieved after finally thinking of something, however unimaginative, Felix smiled warmly at Harry. Harry's eyes twinkled in amusement, his own lips half - forming a smile of his own.

"Uh huh. Yeah, SURE." Felix pretended to be hurt.

"What? You don't believe me?" Harry grinned before replying,

"Is the pope Jewish?" Felix stuck his tongue out playfully.

"Ha ha, you're such a comedian." Harry chuckled.

"Glad someone thinks so!" Then he became more serious. "Look Felix, I'm sorry about our last conversation that we had...you know in the hospital wing? I didn't mean to be so...anyway, I really think that you're a great guy and it would be cool to be friends. Hang out, that kinda stuff. I just didn't want you to get the wrong impression of me is all. So..."

"Will you go out with me?"

Harry's mouth started to form words and then dropped open in shock. Eyebrows raised so high, they were in danger of disappearing into his thick, unruly hair he asked, "I'm sorry?"

_Oh my GOD! I want to die. _Felixs inwardly screamed. _Literally shrivel up into a speck of dust and DIE! How could I of blurted that out? It was just so...so..._

"Erm...I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to go out with me?" _OH MY GOD! I've said it again! Good Lord what is wrong with me?! _

Harry closed his open mouth. "Are...are you serious? ...Are you...gay?"

_Oh christ, oh shit, he's not gay! This is a disaster! This is horrible, I asked out a guy who isn't even gay, who probably thinks I'm a disgustiong lech who - _

"Felix?" Felix stopped his little rant of horror in his head.

"Yes...yes I am gay." _There said it_. Strangely though, he didn't feel the urge to throw up. He didn't feel sick or suicidle. Having admitted the fact that he was gay, he felt oddly calm. At ease with himself, knowing that he was being honest and genuinly felt for other guys...or at least, knowing he did for Harry.

Harry nodded thoughtfully. "Me too." He whispered. Now it was Felix's turn to be gobsmacked.

"You wha -?"

Harry smiled shyly.

"Yep. I had no idea about you though..." Felix swallowed hard. _Was he...suggesting something?_

"Okay. Now that we cleared that shit up. What happens next?"

Harry pondered Felix's words and bit his bottom lip. "I don't know...we'll see what happens, yeah?" Felix felt Harry searching his face, hoping he was going to come out with the right answer.

"Yeah, okay. So you don't want to...?" Harry shook his head. Seeing the look of rejection and hurt on Felix's face, he added. "But it's not 'cos it's you. I just...I'm not really ready for a relationship. Not yet anyway, do you understand?" He gently cupped Felix's chin in a soft hand and pulled it up to look him in the eye. Felix smiled sadly and nodded.

Harry returned the smile and leaned forward, giving Felix a light brush of a kiss on his high cheek bone. "Thanks for understanding." He whispered. Pulling away and letting his hand drop at the same time, Harry waved goodbye and walked on.

Remaining where he stood, Felix gave a heavy sigh before rubbing the spot where Harry had kissed him.

He did not see the desolate figure of Draco Malfoy, watching him from afar. Draco gave a sigh of his own, and tried not to dwell on how much he knew Felix hated him.

_Of course he fell for fucking Potter. Who wouldn't fall for that gorgeouse little shit?_ But a little voice, the sneering Malfoy voice he possessed argued back, _You can't let scar - head win! No way am I going to give up on Sylvian, not that stunning, drawling, blonde American...we'd look so great together..._

Draco manically thought for several seconds as he affectionatley watched Felix sling his school bag over his shoulder, blonde hair falling into his face.

_I need to make him fall out of love with Potter. I need Potter to hurt him...badly. So that he'll never want to see his bloody photogenic face again. EVER!_

Racing through all the cruel, evil, spiteful, malicious and down right sad possibilities through his mind, Draco eventually settled on a plan that was simple, yet greatly effective._ Darling Felix is such a pathetic romantic, It'll definately work_.

Smiling Defiantly, Draco rushed off down the corridor, eager to put his 'little plan' into action, immediatley!

A/N Phew! Okay, I have no idea what the plan is LOL!

I don't really think that far ahead. Nah, I just can't be bothered writing a plan for this story, I'll probably be constantly changing it anyway, so there's pretty much no point. When I write, I just make it up as I go along so I'm screwed if I hit writer's block! Hehe

**Read and review please!!!** It really does help. Even if you don't like the story, **say so**! I honestly don't mind.

Well, see ya then folks! Will try to update soon but...ya know. We shall see what inspiration comes along...if any! LOL Luv you all, even if you only read the fic and don't review - hugs! HotTimali x x x


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